Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login

Matthew sat in front of the mirror in his bedroom. He stared at himself with disgust, glaring into his deep, violet eyes, tugging at his wavy blonde hair.
I'm so ugly, he told himself.
He tried to tame the annoying curl sticking out of his head but it just wouldn't stay down. He tried to make himself look good with his round, nerdy glasses and his knotty hair.
"I'll never be as good as Alfred", he whispered, standing up. He picked up his school backpack, shoved in today's textbooks and headed out to another torturous day at high school.

You walked down the hallway with your headphones in your ears, your iPod blaring __(favourite song)__. You reached your locker and tugged it open, chucking in the books you didn't need and taking out the ones you did. You were about to head to registration before spotting your best friend walking in with his cute face hidden behind his long hair.

You walked up to him and smiled,
"Hey Mattie".

He looked up at you and forced a smile back,
You frowned. Matthew was upset again. This had been constantly happening, Matthew was always getting depressed and it made you sad too. You were scared your best friend in the whole world would end up doing something stupid.

Then the worst happened.

"Hey guys! Look who we have here!" A loud, obnoxious voice shouted, his gang snickering behind him. One of the schools many bullies stood before you and Matthew, smirking directly at him.
The bully, who's name you unfortunately couldn't remember, grabbed Matthew by the hood of his jumper, tugging him upwards.
You glared at the guy, trying your best to get Matthew down. He had tears staining his face.

"God Matt, your so ugly!" One of the bullies shouted, the others laughed at him.
"Ha, Canadians are losers![1]" Another shouted, chucking his text book at Matthew's head. He winced in pain.
"Aww, the little baby's crying!" The bully who was holding Matthew taunted, pulling him upwards with more force, strangling Matthew.

You felt terms pricking your __(e/c)__, you had enough of this. You lunged forward and kicked the leader in the balls, who dropped Matthew hard onto the floor with a loud slam.
The other bullies looked at they're leader, before running off to class. The leader managed to stand up, glared at you (still holding his balls) and jogged off.
You made sure they were gone, and ran to Matthew's side, stroking his forehead affectionately.
"It's okay, it's okay" You mumbled over and over again, while he lay on the cold, hard floor, crying his eyes out.

The next day Matthew didn't show up for school, so you were forced to face the day without him.
You thought nothing of it, though. He was nearly beaten up yesterday, he's probably just recovering. You decided to check up on him tonight to see if he's okay.

So you started the day as normal. You tried your best to concentrate in lessons, but it was hard. Mattie was on your mind constantly, he's been so upset lately! No matter how hard you tried, you couldn't make the sweet Canadian happy.

He deserves more than that, you told yourself. All the things he's done for you, and a lot of other people, and they're never respectful, they always ignore him all the time.

After school, you hurried home, changed into a plain top, sweatpants and a hoodie with slip ons, and started to walk over to his house, which was close to yours.
Before leaving your own land, you turned around and noticed your mom's red roses had fully bloomed, they looked so beautiful so you decided to pick some and take them to Mattie as a present.

When you reached his front door, you braced yourself before knocking on it a few times.
You expected Matthew to answer but instead his older brother, Alfred did. Alfred was captain of the football team, had all the ladies buzzing around him and was one of the most handsome guys in the whole school.

"Oh, hey ______, what's up?" He asked causally.
"Uh, is Matt there?" You asked, sneaking a glance behind him and back.
Alfred motioned for you to come in, so you did so.
"He's upstairs. I'll warn you though, he's very upset," He spotted the roses, "What're they for?".
You blushed. Alfred seemed to read you mind.
"Good luck" He smirked, winking. You smiled at him and made your way up the stairs.
Alfred was probably the nicest jock there was at the school, even if he was very cocky and a bit of a player.

You found Mattie's room easily. Alfred's door was covered in posters, doodles and other rubbish. Mattie's was simply decorated with the Canadian flag.

You knocked, gulping.
You heard shuffling inside the room, before the door opened, revealing a very tired-looking, sad Matthew. He realised it was you and forced a smile, like he did everyday.
"Hey, _________. What brings you here?" Matt asked, inviting you inside.
You stepped in, looking around. You always imagined boys rooms to be covered in junk, video games and posters of sports stars and naked girls, but Matthew's was very simple. It was beige and white, with a few paintings and framed pictures on the walls. His curtains were drawn, and his bed was messy, so he'd obviously been sleeping.

"I was worried, you weren't at school" You smiled weakly at him, hiding the roses behind your back. Matthew sat down on his bed and you followed.
"I just felt a bit sick today, that's all. No need to worry" The last sentence came out in a nervous choking. You frowned.
"You sound sick. Sorry if I woke you"
"No don't worry, I wasn't sleeping, just resting"
You sighed in relief, bringing the flowers from your back.
You held the up to him.
"I brought you these" You handed them to him, smiling into his eyes. He stared at them, shocked for a while, until his violet eyes started tearing up.

"I-I-I...." He began, before resting the flowers on his knees and crying loudly into his hands.
You gaped, not sure what to do.

Your best friend had finally broke.

"I-I'm sorry, _______....It's just, I've never been given flowers before, let alone...roses" He smiled through his tears, resting his head on your shoulder. You run your hands down his back, rubbing circles into his skin.
"Your the only one who cares, _______, the only one" He cried, wrapping his arms around you, pulling you closer to him.
"Your the only one who makes me feel like my life is worth living".

You felt yourself about to cry, you never knew Matthew felt so alone and depressed.
You felt your heart aching, you needed to tell him now.
"Mattie, I love you".

He fell silent, looking up at you. His face was red, as was yours.
"" He stuttered, quiet tears pouring out of his eyes. You nodded, "I always have".

Hundreds of thousands of emotions were taking over Matthew's body. You were the only thing keeping him from breaking down, from ending his life.

"I love you too." He weeped. He cried into your chest, wetting your shirt. But this time, they were tears of happiness. You kissed the top of his head, stroking his soft hair.

"You saved me, _______" He smiled, clutching hold of your top.

All my flaws to see,
You still love, love me.

1 - Don't mean to offend any Canadians! I personally think they're awesome!

Based on this song: [link]

So, yeah. I'm such a sad person, oh well.
Kind of based on myself a little, mainly me in Mattie's position, except the things that keep me from breaking are my family (My mummy, sister and aunt), and my true friends (on here and in real life) who always make me feel happy and make me laugh.
But I do have a few small breakdowns every now and then, usually later at night, cause I'm a paranoid fuck.
I had one two nights ago I think. It's because of all those shitty legend stuff online. My parents have banned me from those websites now because I don't sleep, then I get depressed, then I get headaches, which makes me sleep less.
God, I'm useless XD

I didn't really wanna put stuff about cutting and all that because I didn't want to put a warning on this, but I think people are judged too quickly. I'm constantly being called an emo because I'm not always 100% happy.
Get over it, that's who I am. You don't have the same life as me, I'm pretty proud of me and my sister because we've been through some confusing shit in our lives but we've stuck together!


(Preview pic ain't mine)
Add a Comment:
TrainerleafAJ Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
I wouldn't say I've suffered depression but maybe sometimes, anyway I wonder how the dude's balls are feeling...? XDDDD
linda243344 Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2015
The last time I had depression was last year. My parents couldn't get me out of my room for anything. I stayed locked up for up to 4 months barely eating anything. I was sent to the hospital and my 2 true friends came to visit me everyday. I felt like I wasn't wanted because I was abused by my mom for 3 years and no one would talk to me. It still kinda happens, but it's not that bad. Life is usually unfair to me, but I know that I have friends who care. Which actually helps me now.
Hetaliafangirl756 Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2015  New Deviant Student Photographer
My lil sis suffered once depression when i left for college,poor thing when i went back to live with them while still going to college,she was so thin,and my mom and dad told me she wouldn't come out,but now she better,and happy and i love her so much she chaperone's me ob my dates haha
cnadada Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
tht sucks,i had depression for a few terms. I wouldn't leave the house and I refused to go to the doctors, my parents bribed me to go (chocolate). I was in pain I could barely move off the sofa and when I was put into hospital none of my friends visited me except 1...
Gardenfairyangel Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
I feel your pain, with not always being happy. I suffered depression for awhile and now it feels like if I'm remotely sad, someone automatically thinks I'm depressed. 
Spazzerazz Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
Damn right we're awesome!
Bunnylover811 Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2015  Professional Artist
DownShiftPlus Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
*is punching fist into my hand*
Yeah, you better think we're awesome...
Casey and Callisto: *is slowing backing away*
Ajatinker Featured By Owner Edited Sep 20, 2014
AWESOME I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And hey, if you need anyone to talk to, I'm here. I'm not on deviantART too much, but you can find me on Quotev just about any time. Same username, and my account there is Ajatinker
muuu1234 Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2014
This is a great story, I actually cried. <3
rina1999 Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2014
Canada there are many people that love you!
Your soo adorable an huggable!X3
valeriemyl Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2014  Student Writer
*Valerie.exe stop working*
Perv me: Crap I thought I fixed you a long time ago hehe if you know what I mean
NerdyCloudz Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'm a little bit of french canadian :3
Rebeccaesque Featured By Owner May 25, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Talk about a new perspective on Canada! Brilliant story :)
Zarraheth Featured By Owner May 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
wow, I never realized, that the fanfics, where someone else is depressed even hit harder than the ones of being depressed yourself, good job! Luuv it!
SarukiShiago Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Awwww Mattie
Mermaidgirl147 Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2014  Student Photographer
Feels! *cries* 
Littlemisspagan Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2014
MAH FEELS!!!!!! *dies from feels, then comes back*
SilentLove832 Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Bullies are motherfucking-fuckass-assholes.
So whoever your fucking stupid ass name is just stop fucking monkey Fuck bothering poor Matthew and fucking fucketie FUCK OFF.
Stupid bitches.
always bitching their man-whore mouths on other innocent people.
Just go suck somebody's fucking Dick and get your soggy fat ass and nub of a ball out of this school stupid man-slut.

-Sorry, I've been bullied for so long. Great story btw-
iNSaNiTY-Piano Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2013
Bully: Canadians are stupid!
Me: ...How old are you?
12popscotch Featured By Owner May 28, 2014
Me: Sir That is racist.
no maple syrup for you.
jojo530 Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Wouldntulik2know Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2013
I love this~! The feels ;_;
Animeangel12131 Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2013
ps i'm not saying this to be preachy i just want you to know i understand how it feel keep up the good work
Animeangel12131 Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2013
yeah people these days are judgemental assholes glare at you cause you were trip pants or have black nails or lips even if your just different. i've been there nearley droped out of school cause wether i was nice or in a fight they never stoped thank god for sibs and good friends. and aww i just adore mattie mess with him and you'll see a wrath that would make the 2ps hit the high road
kawaiixcheezit Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I almost cried ;^;
CarrotSoren Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Aww, I'm sorry :3 Stuff like this makes me sob too X3
moemoemoefun Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2013   General Artist
OMG DA FEELS!:iconfeelingsplz:
CarrotSoren Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Hehe I hope you liked it!
moemoemoefun Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2013   General Artist
I loved it! (sry 4 late reply...)
DeadEyedDemon Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Student General Artist
My bff got affended anyway. She's REALLY Canadian. Like, she wears canadian flag t shirts everyday cause she misses her home land. I kicked her in the shins and screamed "IT'S A STORY YOU GIT!" ps I'm German but for some strange reason I have a British accent.
CarrotSoren Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
AHH I'm so sorry I didn't mean to offend your friend, I have absolutely nothing against Canadians!! And I'm British so I guess I have a British accent too XD
But tell your friend I'm sorry I hope she's not upset :)
Sheruchan92 Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013  Student Writer
*RANDOM PERSON!* I WANT A BRITISH ACCENT! Let's trade! I get yours and you take my American one! XDDDD /smacked with bat*
CarrotSoren Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
YES YES YES! I want an American accent!!
DeadEyedDemon Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013  Student General Artist
Canadian? What's a Canadian?
OW! My friend slapped me!!! =(
Oh, and she says it's ok.=)
CarrotSoren Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
XDXDXDXD, and glad she doesn't hate me! :)
DeadEyedDemon Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013  Student General Artist
From Dakota aka my bff: your story was good! (except for the part about making fun of canada) keep writing and do your best! =3
CarrotSoren Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Hehe thanks! And I love your name ;3
DeadEyedDemon Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013  Student General Artist
i named my OC character after her, Brazil. i'm gonna change my profile pic to her now...
CarrotSoren Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Awh okay! I bet your OC's awesome :3
(1 Reply)
Killitnow Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
... //stabsbully I am not a loser! >8U //stabsoverandover Bow to the maple leaf, mothafucka! >8U ((//smacked))

But really, this was so cute! > u < Keep up the good work!
CarrotSoren Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Hehe XD
Thanks so much, I will!
ObsidianWyng Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Hobbyist
that was adorable
CarrotSoren Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Aww thanks so much!
brownieskillpplz Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2012
my feels they are all over da place. :,(
CarrotSoren Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Haha mine were too when I wrote it :3
brownieskillpplz Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013
AraDovahkiin Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
...... :iconfrenchsquealplz:
CarrotSoren Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Teehee thanks :)
AraDovahkiin Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Lol usuaslly I don't like the _____xReader stuff, but this is AWESOME :iconkermityayplz:
Add a Comment:

:iconcarrotsoren: More from CarrotSoren

Featured in Collections

hetalia by Nicky-Hetalia

Hetalia Canada by Raphael-TMNT

READERINSERTS by IndomituSheep

More from DeviantArt


Submitted on
August 4, 2012
File Size
7.6 KB


193 (who?)